insecurities ….. Everywhere

What if I told you I could make you the happiest and fortunate person on this planet.

Sounds good?

There was a time when you were the happiest and most joyful life.

It was your childhood.

The primary reason for that ecstatic happiness was a lack of exposure to negative things and a significant lack of insecurities that have been generated over a time period.

People say to hide your weaknesses from the world, as it will make you more vulnerable. I say f* them. I want to be the most authentic and vulnerable person who has ever lived.

What kind of quality of life do you have if you are always dodging your own fears?

So, here we go pickle.

  1. I am a bit insecure about my voice. Sometimes, I feel I sound squeaky. I think people don’t take me seriously.
  2. Sometimes, I fear that I might end up being a lower-middle-class man who has to think 5 times before buying even bare necessary items.
  3. I wish I could travel to the top of the Himalayas and leave everything behind just for a few weeks. Just me. Only me. Nothing else. Turns out, it costs 25,000 per head😑.
Life. Now!
  1. I wish women didn’t choose their life partner based on financial health or the type of job of men. It hurts to see that you are being judged as an ATM and not a person.
  2. I wish girls had less affinity towards 6 pack abs. How would one feel if I judged her based on her headlight and bumper?
  1. 5'7. That’s my height. I don’t think it affects anything. But, ya, maybe 5'10 would have been satisfying.
  2. I have won several events, scored top marks multiple times, proved my worth as an engineer in organizations, but the very idea of sitting in interviews still haunts me but heart petrifying fear.
  3. I wish I had someone whom I could tell anything without a second thought. Adults are complicated, they need people, medium posts doesn’t work all the time.
  4. I regret that my parents are wasting their precious money on the bullshit education I am receiving.
  5. Yes, my hairline is receding, but don’t you dare make fun of that.😂
  6. I am not at all consistent at anything. And it hurts me.

There. All my insecurities. I did it.

I am still here. You are still here. Now, Use these weaknesses to hurt me. I dare you😂.

For one thing, I can tell you, I feel amazing now, contrary to weak or depressed or overwhelmed. Like a 1000kg weight taken off my head.

Do you want to get rid of your insecurities? I want you to get rid of them! And I want me to get rid of mine.

Here’s a task.

DON’T THINK OF AN ELEPHANT.

Plz, don't think of me. I am a very shy animal!

Did you think of an elephant? No? C’mon, it was on your mind the whole time. Chances are you yourself is an elephant after such a long quarantine.

You see the more you try to resist something, the more you fall into the trap. There is a very beautiful zen story about letting it be(some other time). Your resistance will only make things difficult for you. The friction will only damp out the motion, it will never generate acceleration.

So, meet your fears head-on. Curse them, hit them with courage, let them be, stand up to them with dignity because there is actually no fear.

It’s just your crazy mind.

Rajat Upadhyay

The author of this post is learning how to breathe. No, literally, he is into meditation.

Writer, programmer, thinker, human.