The Regrets of the dying.
A few days ago I was doing something that means a lot to me and to every other person of my age. Aimlessly scrolling and browsing through the internet shit!
When I was completely indulged in going through shit, suddenly a post struck me. It had the title “Regrets of the Dying”.
The title was so subtle and outstanding that it could have caught anybody’s attention.
Apparently this post was about the book written by some Australian nurse called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
I went on to read it and found something so profound that it is absolutely hard to explain it in mere words.
Learning the life lessons from a person who knows that he/she is about to die, those very moments of the eternal truth, of the final end, any person who would say something at that moment is not be filtered by the lies we tell ourselves every day, those final words are the words that are the real truth of the complete huge life that person has lived. Just think, the eternal truth of your life put in front of yourself in just a moment!
Bronnie Ware(author of the book) shared her experience while nursing people and listening to their regrets in her years of practice. Allow me to share the wisdom with you in just a few words.
Interestingly enough, the regrets did not have a mention of more sex, more money, or bungee jumping. And among the top, from men, in particular, was ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’.
Understanding life is not a difficult thing, it is all just a game of 5 senses. Even a pizza has more ingredients than that.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Let it sink in and ask yourself, in all your life you have lived so far, have you honored even half of the dreams you had? Did you work in that direction or just left it to rot in a corner because it didn’t have the potential to bring money?
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
When people realize that their life is almost over and look back at all the years they have lived, these are the regrets they face the most.
It is only the job of a smart person to realize that these things may be the regrets they might face at any point in their life. Let’s be honest to at least ourselves and do what we love, not what makes us impressive in society.
Your dreams are waiting for you at the other end. Fuel in petrol and enjoy the journey, trying to go faster will only damage the vehicle.
Be Calm. Be happy.
Signing off.
Rajat Upadhyay
(In a Love affair . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . with life.)
